Hey everyone and welcome back to my blog! Today it's time to be honest...so, let's just get into it...
We all know that the phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a complete lie. We all know that words can hurt. But, when we think about how they can hurt, we often don't elaborate on all the ways they can hurt. Not only can they hurt when they're spoken out loud, but also when they're written on a paper or typed as a comment or text.
So, say you start a group chat for something that's really important to you. You want your friends to join in and see what you're working on because what you're working on is your passion. It's something that's really means a lot to you, and makes you want to share it with others so they can see it to.
When you make the group chat, you ask all of your friends so you have their permission to add them to the chat. You never think about the fact that they can leave whenever you they want to. You just think about how excited you are to have your friends on the receiving end of some exciting accomplishments you're making in your life. You just want support from your friends, and to know that they care.
Then you get a text in the group chat and it says, "_______ has left the group."
You see that text and you blink for a moment, trying to figure out if you're seeing that right. Then you realize you aren't dreaming and those words are really on that screen. It almost feels like they're directed at you. You read the name accompanying the words. You realize which friend it is, and it feels like a piece of your heart is being torn from your chest.
Why? Why did my friend leave the group? And the most important question: why did they do it without telling me?
You feel like you've been punched in the stomach.
Do they not care? Do they really not care enough to tell me that they don't want to see what I'm working on anymore?
The thing about those words that hurts you the most is the name. The name of the person who didn't seem to care. They took the easy way out. They hit the button that said "leave the conversation," but was really just a decoy for you. The button might as well have said "my feelings" because the moment they hit that button they hurt your feelings. They made you ask a lot of questions. They made you wonder who your true friends really are.
Everything you just read is an example of how taking the easy way out can lead to hurt feelings. Words hurt, even when they're not supposed to be directed right at you.
Say you were the one with the group chat. How would you feel if your friend left your very important group chat without saying anything to you? Wouldn't it feel like a part of your soul was being ripped out? Wouldn't it make you wonder if they really care about you at all?
It's so easy for us to click unfollow, unlike, unsubscribe, leave the conversation, leave a comment. It's so easy for us to type the words "I hate you," or "I'm done" or you can let the messages speak for you by "leaving the conversation."
You can do all of that without saying anything to anyone. You can even do some of those things anonymously.
One thing we don't do when we do those things is think. It's simple to press a button without thinking. "Unlike" sure. "Leave the conversation" sure. "Unfollow" okay let's do it. You don't have to think about it. You can just do it.
But what if the person on the receiving end of those buttons sees what you did? How do you think they would feel? Do you think they might feel hurt that you unfollowed them? That you left that comment? That you left that conversation or unliked their post?
We're always looking for people's approval. We're always waiting for people to tell us how much they love us. We want recognition. We want followers. We want people to like our posts. We want all of that.
But, when do we think about what we're doing before we do it? When do we think about someone else before ourselves? When do we think, "Oh, maybe I should ask them if it's okay that I leave. Maybe they'll understand if I just tell them."
No, we take the easy way out. We do the thing that gives us the least amount of stress or tense feelings. We don't want anyone to get mad at us for not following us back. We don't want anyone to get mad that we left them behind.
I know this was a lot to unpack, but I'm gonna leave you with these lyrics from this song called Haunted House by Mckenna Grace.
And you see I've got something to give
And I'd give it to you a hundred times over
'Til you screwed me over
Just like the last time
Yeah, maybe they "left the chat" because they're not supposed to be in your life anymore. Maybe God wants you to move on and find new friends. Or maybe there's some other reason.
Either way, words hurt. You can simply "leave the conversation" and make someone feel like they aren't important enough for your time. It's as simple as that.
But we're called to do to others as God did for us. So next time you're thinking about "leaving that conversation" for something that's important to someone, or clicking "unlike" because you're mad at someone, think about feelings. Just think. Think about what the person on the receiving end will feel.
You will probably never completely understand my reasoning for this post beyond the phrase "words hurt," but it felt really good to get that out, even though the reason for this post might never be known.
Thanks for reading! ~Ella (yes I'm leaving you with that. More blog posts coming soon... (; )